Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
