I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
