saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Blood and glitter go together right?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
