I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize