Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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