The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Randomize