we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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