Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
