I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
