Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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