My room smells like vodka and shame
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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