3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
