if you like me you must not know who I am
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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