honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
