it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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