Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize