is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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