I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
