I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
