I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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