make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
