peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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