I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
