you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
