i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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