the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
