woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
This show inspires me to have sex in space
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
