I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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