somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
