she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
