Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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