I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
