just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
