There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
