I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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