all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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