Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
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