I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
