I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
he just fucked me for my cheese..
where are my eyebrows?
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