Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
