Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I woke up under a house in Key West
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
