Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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