Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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