last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
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