He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
