It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
