I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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