Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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