i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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