Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Please don't give away my fajitas
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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