I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
