he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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