i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
