It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
