I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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