I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
