Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Can I color on your dick again?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize