i would punch a child for taco bell
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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