Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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