all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
