In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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