I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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