Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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