I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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