Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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