all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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