After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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