i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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