Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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