I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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